I did something SO INSANE over the weekend. You’re not even going to believe it. Unless you read the title of this post, in which case you’ve probably already figured it out.
So what I did was, I baked a batch of gluten-free cookies. This is totally crazy because not only have I never baked anything using gluten-free ingredients before, I’ve never baked…anything before. Ever. I’ve never even helped my mom bake anything. I don’t know what was going on when I was a kid, because my sister somehow learned to bake all kinds of stuff, and now she’s a 23-year-old with a KitchenAid mixer, which I actually think is super weird?
Anyway, I never had an interest, so I just didn’t do it. But since I stopped eating gluten, I’ve occasionally craved baked goods. Not that much, to be honest, but occasionally I would like to binge eat Oreos or something. I’ve been hesitant to buy baked stuff, even of the specifically gluten-free variety, because a lot of that stuff is still bad for you, and I’ve noticed that when I eat things with random unknown crap in them, I end up feeling sick. (And yet, I can’t stop eating movie popcorn every few weeks. I seriously can’t help it; it’s my greatest weakness.)
Since this was my first baking venture, I went with the simplest recipe I could find online for chocolate chip cookies. Of course I didn’t have any of the ingredients – like, I literally didn’t own baking soda – so I had to buy pretty much everything except butter and eggs. It turns out most of this stuff, like almond flour and coconut sugar is pretty expensive, so that’s a bummer. But hopefully I’ll attempt to bake something else at some point, and then it’ll come in handy. Oh, and then I realized at the last minute that I didn’t even own measuring cups or spoons, and while I did think about trying to eyeball everything for a quick second, I immediately realized what a horrendous idea that was, and went to the Dollar Store instead.
Once I got started, it went not too bad, actually. Most of the problems I encountered were just stupid things because I don’t really have common sense, and I don’t know basic things like what the wet ingredients are supposed to look like before you mix them with the dry ingredients. I don’t know! I was finding it hard to smoosh (yes, smoosh is the technical term) the butter, and I was paranoid I was doing something wrong. Here, I’m just going to share my ridiculous Google searches during this process so you can comprehend the depths of my ignorance:
- are chocolate chips wet or dry ingredients
- how much is a stick of butter
- what should a mix of eggs and butter look like
- is it ok for parchment paper to touch oven rack
- how do you know when cookies are done
Yeah, I clearly did not know what the eff I was doing. Fortunately the Internet was reasonably helpful about most of my dumb questions, and I got through it! I definitely should have made the cookies a bit smaller, and I should have cooked them for a minute or two less, but when they were finished, they were actually not bad. I really don’t think you’d even know they were gluten-free. I gave some to my parents, and they seemed to like them…or at least they said they did. Mostly they were just taken aback that I baked something. Did I mention this was out of character?
Anyway, I’m proud of this amazing accomplishment that no one else has ever achieved in the history of all time (I bet). Maybe next time I’ll get super crazy and make gluten-free banana bread! Oh, and in case you’re interested in a gluten-free chocolate chip cookie recipe so easy that even I could make it, you can find it here. I did not use that specific kind of almond flour, but whatever I used seemed to be fine. I did everything else exactly the same, because I assumed any changes would lead to a disaster (I was probably right). My transformation into Martha Stewart is complete! It’s a good thing.