New Adventure

Hello, followers of Sweet Synecdoche. Clearly I have disappeared for quite some time. Unfortunately I have no real excuse except that I’m a negligent and fickle blog owner, and I have a really awful habit of abandoning blogs all over the damn internet. I’m sorry to now use my sad, abandoned blog to advertise a new blog that I am currently excited about but which I will likely one day also abandon, but here we are. It’s the circle of blogs. Anyway, if you are interested, I’m currently following the advice of self-help books, starting with The Secret over at Come join me if you like, or, alternatively, don’t! Thanks for reading. *Disappears into the mist*


Summer fun in the…fog

One exciting thing about this summer is my friend Peter is back in town for a couple months before he goes to school in Calgary in the fall (which is actually pretty rude of him, because that is very far away, but WHATEVER I guess). Anyway, in the meantime, we decided to try to do some touristy things around the city this summer. We haven’t made it to the Reversing Falls Zip Line yet, and my Scents of Saint John tour is still in development (but seriously, it’s going to be an amazing look at the real Saint John when I save up enough to buy a bus), but we sure did go to the Saint John Psychic Fair!

PSYCHED for the psychic fair.

PSYCHED for the psychic fair.

OK, I guess technically this wasn’t exactly a touristy thing, but it is a thing that happens in our city every year that we have never considered actually attending. It always takes place in a medium crappy hotel, so we showed up on a Saturday afternoon prepared for things to get weird. And then we immediately got lost and walked by a mysterious place called the Hawaiian Room? But then we got back on track and found the psychics. Mostly they were creepy looking dudes and old women in sweat pants. There were maybe seven or eight of them sitting around the room, and you could go around to each one and pick up a brochure to find out what their deal was. Some of them used tarot cards, some communicated with the afterlife…mostly what we did was pick the one that appeared to have the lowest prices and the shortest wait list. Her name was Ginger Ella, and she did palm readings.

Peter went first, after Ginger Ella went out for what I can only assume was a smoke break. She told him he is an academic (true!) and he needs to be more social (probably also true!) and, I don’t know, a bunch of other junk. Enough about Peter, let’s talk about me! First of all, did you know I’ve had 20 past lives? It’s a true fact, because a psychic told me, it says so right on my hand. I’m pretty sure I’m getting close to enlightenment. I also learned I moved a lot as a child (true!), had a rough childhood (not true!), was a tomboy (not really accurate!), do not want to be financially dependant on a man (well, unless he’s like, REALLY wealthy or something), have good communication skills but need to be less abrupt (my mom agreed with this one – hey!) and will likely move a lot in my life (maybe!).

So do I believe in the power of psychics after my very first psychic fair experience? I mean, no, of course not. But it was still an entertaining and interesting experience, and I’m definitely glad we went after talking about it for basically months.

And then, a couple of weeks ago, I went to the Cherry Brook Zoo with Peter and our friend Jazmine. First of all, you should probably know that this zoo is kind of the saddest zoo ever.

Not sure if this lion is depressed or lulling us into a false sense of security.

Not sure if this lion is depressed or lulling us into a false sense of security.


I hadn’t been there in eight years, but it turns out not much has changed. The animals still look lethargic and generally bummed out, and after visiting the zoo, you’ll probably feel a bit bummed out about the life choices that brought you to the point where going to the zoo seemed like a good idea.

This Shetland sheep made the worst noise I've ever heard.

This Shetland sheep made the worst noise I’ve ever heard.

But you know, we made the best of it. We made up narratives for the animals and picked our favourites. Jazmine liked the emu (who was totally up to no good!), Peter was into the guinea pigs (which were actually adorable and made me want a pet guinea pig) and I loved the snow leopard (who was a diva who was TOTALLY above it all).

The most disdainful snow leopard ever.

The most disdainful snow leopard ever.

It’s been a fun summer so far! Hopefully we’ll have more local adventures before it’s over.

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Oh, hello again

Wow, I’m so forgetful sometimes! Like, for the last month, I basically forgot that I have a blog. But now I have so many things to update about – perhaps I will make SEVERAL posts before I once again forget that this thing exists.

So! I went to Alberta! It was a really fun trip. I went with my mom and my aunt. My sister had to work during our first full day, so we explored her neighbourhood a bit. Fortunately she lives far enough away from downtown that she wasn’t affected by the flooding. Her neighbourhood is really cute, lots of stores and restaurants and stuff. Also, it was SO HOT THERE. I’m not used to heat because I live in Saint John where overcast and freezing is the norm, so I immediately got sunburned on my pasty, pasty skin.

We spent the next three days in the mountains. Banff, Canmore, lots of beautiful lakes, waterfalls, and seriously, the mountains are actually so amazing. I feel like pictures don’t really capture them, but here is one of me at the top of the Banff Gondola anyway.



So pretty! We also did a lot of hiking, and then immediately made up for it by eating at a whole bunch of good restaurants. I was a little exhausted (or was it just heat stroke?) by the end of it, but I feel like we got to see a lot. No grizzlies though! We drove around in search of animals a bunch, but we only found mountain sheep. They were FINE I guess, but they were no bears.

Me and my mom at Moraine Lake.

Me and my mom at Moraine Lake.

Our last full day in Calgary was spent shopping at an incredibly massive outlet mall. Oh my god, it is such a good thing I don’t live in a place that has a thing like that. It had all the stores! I wanted all the things! I had to show some restraint because, you know, we had to carry it all back on the plane, so things didn’t escalate TOO much.

And then I was off to Toronto to hang out with one of my bffs, Jeff for a few days.



We went to a drag show (my first drag show!) and then another drag show (my second drag show!) and then a Tegan and Sara concert (my third Tegan and Sara concert!). Basically, we had a blast and it was just great to hang out with Jeff.

ivoryAlso, I finally met Jeff’s friend Ivory, a.k.a. the hottest drag queen ever. And I know what I’m talking about, I’ve been to two drag shows.

Then it was back to reality, but I’ve been finding ways to make Saint John at least a bit more interesting. Stay tuned for a Very Important Post about my experience at the Saint John Psychic Fair, my trip to the zoo, and SO MUCH MORE. No, not really. Just those two things, actually.

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Disaster zone vacay

Right now I’m staring at a half-packed suitcase and trying to figure out what to wear to a flood, and it’s quickly becoming apparent I don’t have a lot of disaster-appropriate outfits. Like, I don’t even own a pair of rubber boots! I only have one pair of capris! I’m kind of at a loss.

See, what happened is, I didn’t pick the best possible week to go on a trip to Calgary. It also isn’t the worst week – last week would have definitely been worse. (Also, I feel like I should stop being an asshole for a second and note that I feel really terrible for the people in the city who have been affected by the floods, because oh my god, what a terrible mess, the whole thing is pretty surreal.) But I’m still looking forward to the trip – my mom and my aunt and I are heading to Calgary to visit my sister, who has been living there for the past year. Fortunately, she lives in an area that wasn’t affected by the flood. We’re also going to Banff for a few days, and then I’m heading to Toronto for a few days to visit one of my bffs.

It should be a really good trip. I’m definitely excited about the part where I’m not working for a whole week and a half. It turns out that not working is one of my favourite things to do.

Clearly I haven’t been blogging much lately, and now I’m going to be MIA for the next little while, so again with the not blogging. But if you are for some reason desperate to know what I’m up to during my upcoming adventures, you can follow me on Twitter or Instagram. Or not! I’ll be back soon to post pictures of my outfits, and to update about my AFI movie project.

But for now, my greatest challenge yet – packing. Ugh. Packing.

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The Bling Ring and the American Dream

A few months before its release date, I became thoroughly obsessed with The Bling Ring. You already know about this movie, right? It’s Sofia Coppola’s latest film, based on an actual story about a group of teens living in Calabasas, Calif. who decided to rob the houses of nearby celebrities. It turned out this was incredibly easy, since for some reason famous people NEVER lock their doors or turn on an alarm.

I remember hearing about the story when it happened a few years ago, but at the time I didn’t really look into it any further than any of the other celebrity gossip I read about on a daily basis. It wasn’t until I saw this video a few months ago that I realized I needed to know literally everything about the bling ring or the burglar bunch or whatever you want to call this “gang.”

That, my friends, is Alexis Neiers. When I saw this perfect, perfect video, I needed more. So I watched her short-lived 2010 reality television show, Pretty Wild in its entirety (it’s only nine episodes, so this took me a total of one evening). The show is Pretty Terrible. It’s about wannabe model Alexis, her younger sister Gabby, and Alexis’s friend/fake adopted sister/also aspiring model Tess Taylor. They’re all living with mother/former model/generally insane person Andrea Arlington-Dunne, who is ACTUALLY Amy Poehler’s character from Mean Girls (she’s not like a regular mom, she’s a cool mom) and she home schools the girls using the teachings of The Secret. Seriously.

Just a totally normal family.

Just a totally normal family (Alexis, Gabby, Tess and Andrea).

The absolute only reason why Pretty Wild is interesting is because, in the very first episode, Alexis is arrested for her involvement with the bling ring. She was preeeetty much caught on a security camera robbing Orlando Bloom’s house along with a few of the main bling ring kids. Alexis says she was black out drunk and didn’t know what was happening; the guy who told on her, Nick Prugo, says she knew exactly what was up.

After I finished watching Pretty Wild, I of course had to read the article that spurred the insane series of phone messages in the above clip. Written by Nancy Jo Sales, it’s called The Suspects Wore Louboutins, and while I already knew that Alexis speaks like an entitled valley girl, some of her quotes in the article are FASCINATING in their lack of self-awareness. My personal favourite is this gem:

“I’m a firm believer in Karma,” she said, “and I think this situation was attracted into my life because it was supposed to be a huge learning lesson for me to grow and expand as a spiritual human being. I see myself being like an Angelina Jolie,” she said, “but even stronger, pushing even harder for the universe and for peace and for the health of our planet.” She was sounding almost like a real celebrity. “God didn’t give me these talents and looks to just sit around being a model or being famous. I want to lead a huge charity organization. I want to lead a country, for all I know.”


I STILL felt like I needed to know more, and the movie wasn’t coming out for another month. Fortunately, Sales recently expanded on her original article and turned it into a book, which I devoured in a couple of days. Most of it is based on interviews with Nick and Alexis, and those conversations are used to expand on the backgrounds of all the kids involved, including supposed ring leader Rachel Lee.

When Nick and Rachel first met, they bonded over a shared love of fashion and celebrities. They started out committing petty crimes – stealing things from unlocked cars, shoplifting, doing drugs. Stupid things that stupid teenagers do because – have you met teenagers? They’re pretty stupid. Then things escalated. Nick and Rachel used gossip sites to find out when celebs like Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Audrina Patridge were out of town. They looked up their addresses, showed up at their homes and, for the most part, walked right in through unlocked doors. They brought their friends with them, including Diana Tamayo and Courtney Ames. In addition to stealing millions of dollars worth of clothes, shoes, purses, jewelry, drugs and straight up cash, they spent time hanging out in these houses, rifling through the possessions of these famous people, experiencing all the beautiful things they owned.

Rachel Lee and Nick Prugo, looking like super regular teens.

Rachel Lee and Nick Prugo, looking like super regular teens.

Obviously these crimes were completely wrong and inexcusable and, again, really, really stupid. But I think part of the reason the story is so captivating to me is because of how stupid the celebrities were, too. The bling ring members went back to Paris Hilton’s place close to 10 times – Paris had a key under her door mat, and at one point the kids took it with them; Paris had replaced it the next time they returned. She had no idea she had been robbed. Again, I realize that you cannot steal things from people, even when they have many, many things. But at the same time, there’s something absolutely fascinating about a theft where the victim has SO MUCH STUFF she doesn’t notice she’s been robbed multiple times.

This crime spree was about more than stealing things. If these kids just wanted to steal nice things, they could have committed much less high profile crimes. They were surrounded by rich people, but they didn’t target people who were rich; they targeted people who were rich and famous. And I can understand that, to some degree. For the most part, these kids were pretty well off, from reasonably affluent families, with parents who probably weren’t involved enough. Some of them had behavioural problems, or struggled at school. But there was this completely different lifestyle, a glamorous, beautiful world, and it wasn’t just in magazines or on TV, like it is for most of us. It was literally right around the corner.

There are probably still people who believe in the American Dream, or in some concept of it; the idea that you can be a good person who works hard your whole life, and you’ll be successful, you’ll be able to provide for yourself and your family. But mostly, that seems naive. Now, we’re cynical. Now we know that the economy can crash, maybe without warning, and maybe you’ll lose the things you worked for your whole life, even if you did the right things, even if you made the best choices you could.

And anyway, who wants to work hard their whole lives when there’s an easier option? Get on a reality show! Release a sex tape! Get plastic surgery! Have a baby! Marry someone famous! Get a divorce! Rinse and repeat! I’m not saying it’s actually easy to turn your entire life into some sort of brand; honestly it sounds horrendously unappealing to an introvert like me, but doesn’t it LOOK easy? If you look at someone like Paris Hilton or Audrina Patridge, it’s like, what are they actually famous for? Being rich? Being in the right place at the right time? If the kids in the bling ring had all the same stuff, if they hung out in all the same places, if they met all the same people, what was the difference between them and the celebrities they were obsessed with?

Oh, and I’m not saying the kids thought about all these things while they were committing the crimes. I’m just saying there’s a culture that created a kind of perfect storm. There’s a sense of blase entitlement that brought them together, that made them think it was OK to do the things that they did.

Emma Watson's California accent is EVERYTHING.

Emma Watson’s California accent is EVERYTHING.

The movie The Bling Ring finally came out on Friday, and I went to see it on opening night. I loved it just about as much as I thought I would. It’s a pretty accurate portrayal of the story as described in Sales’ article. Diana isn’t portrayed in it, and the characters based on Alexis and Tess play a bigger role than they likely did in real life. This is a good thing, because Emma Watson plays the Alexis character, and she was completely perfect. What I really liked about it was that Coppola uses a really detached style, not really casting judgment on the kids, but portrayed them using their own language and their own actions. I thought the film did a really good job of showing how nothing’s real for them until it’s been documented, until it’s been photographed and posted to Facebook, and how those photographs are taken repeatedly, from different angles even when nothing is really happening, and curated to create an idea of a life and a person who might not even really exist.

People who see the film without knowing the story might find it too far fetched, too ridiculous to be believed. It would be easy to dismiss the whole thing as vapid and pointless, but I think the point of the film IS that it’s vapid and pointless. That’s our culture, these are the people kids look up to, the internal lives they lead, the way they interact online, the way they’re tantalized by an unattainable lifestyle that seems so incredibly attainable.

It's actually kind of weird that EVERYONE doesn't have self-portrait pillows.

It’s actually kind of weird that EVERYONE doesn’t have self-portrait pillows.

There were also a lot of weird elements going on behind the scenes of the film. For example, one of the detectives in the bling ring case, Brett Goodkin, was involved as a technical advisor and even had a brief cameo. The problem is that he didn’t have permission from his superiors, and the court cases against most of the bling ring members were still ongoing at the time. Another weird thing is that Paris Hilton, who’s said she thinks “it’s absolutely disgusting what they did,” allowed filming for the movie to take place inside her actual house! Yep, those are her actual pillows with her face on them.

I guess my thesis is that I think the entire story of the bling ring, along with the subsequent article, book and film say a lot about this current moment and our celebrity and youth culture. These are concepts that might seem silly and unimportant, but I think they are things that are worth paying attention to. And if you look at other films released this year, trends start to appear. Actually you should just read A.O. Scott’s article on the topic, because he says it much better than I can.

And don’t forget Alexis Neiers’ chilling words – she really might lead a country some day, for all we know.

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What to Wear: Power outfit

what to wear

I don’t know, guys, I’m feeling like a pretty big weirdo lately. That’s the excuse I’m going to use for this photo shoot, I guess. These weren’t even the weird ones. The weird ones involved me reenacting that scene at the beginning of The Lion King where Rafiki holds up Simba, except I was holding up an owl figurine? OK, sure. I’m not posting those ones. Maybe my POWER comes from being a giant weirdo.

Oh. Heyyyyyy.

Oh. Heyyyyyy.

So that happened. I liked the idea of this week’s power outfit theme, but I have to admit I felt bad choosing one outfit over the others. Because, you know, we all anthropomorphize our clothes and worry about hurting their feelings. In the end, I had to go with my absolute favourite tights, which I have had for about three years and have never stopped loving. One time, the premier of New Brunswick asked me where I bought them. People give me the best confused looks on the street when I wear them – sometimes they ask me if my legs are tattooed. This is the exact kind of weirded out attention I want!

This dress makes me feel like a figure skater.

This dress makes me feel like a figure skater.

And this dress is just the most comfortable thing I own, and I think it’s cute. It has a visible gold zipper on the back, I can wear it with literally anything, it’s pretty much the best. The shoes are new, but I can tell we’re going to have a beautiful relationship and I will wear them until they literally fall off my feet in tatters. Anyway, I feel good about wearing all of these things, and that’s my idea of a power outfit.



I also love this snake watch a lot.

I also love this snake watch a lot.

Dress: H&M
Tights: Modcloth
Shoes: Ruche
Watch: Modcloth
Cardigan: Envy

Head over to Nicole’s blog to check out all the other power outfits!

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I’m basically a gourmet chef

I’ve been cooking so much edible food lately! Clearly this is not a major achievement for most functioning adults, but it’s a big deal for me. Every weekend I make something in my slow cooker, and then I have about four or five meals. I still can’t believe how easy it is! I save time and money…seriously, cooking basic meals is like the highlight of my life right now. Check out the last two things I made!


First, I made a whole meatloaf. And it’s a fancy meatloaf, too – it has bleu cheese and cherries in it. I thought it was pretty good, but usually no one else eats my cooking, so I wanted to be sure. I made my parents try some, and they agreed – definitely a really good meatloaf. I got the recipe from the same site where I’ve gotten all my recipes so far. I think I’m going to branch out and try a new site this weekend, we’ll see.

575650_786755075575_2097098261_nThe other thing I made was this chicken casserole. It might be my favourite thing I’ve made so far – possibly because it involves mozzarella and salsa, so really, how can you go wrong.

I also learned how to make a stir-fry last week. Yes, that is a thing I had never made before. IT TURNS OUT IT’S PRETTY EASY! I didn’t take any pictures, but it just looked like a stir-fry, so imagine that and you’ll know what I made. Cooking: even dummies like me can do it!


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Remember that time I had my ears candled?

This past weekend was a long weekend, and that was nice. I hung out with human beings for what seems like the first time in a while, which is probably a good/healthy thing to do. I also watched SO MANY episodes of Fringe. I watched enough that now I’m having super creepy Fringe-inspired dreams where I think people are performing experiments on me while I’m asleep, so that seems about right. It’s also a really helpful show because it’s providing me with a really great new ideas about impossible ways that supernatural/experimental science can kill me! Ways that my own brain could probably never come up with on its own! Good thing I’m going to watch all five seasons in the next month or so, I’m looking forward to having several psychotic breaks.

Being a hypochondriac who’s afraid of doctors is a really annoying kind of person to be. Basically on a weekly basis I become convinced that I have some kind of condition – mumps, angina, mono, lung cancer, etc. To the best of my knowledge, I have never had any of these things. Usually it turns out to be a cold, heart burn, maybe a stomach flu, but 95 per cent of the  time it’s just a panic attack. No matter how convinced I am that I’m dying, I’ll do almost anything to avoid seeing a doctor. I don’t want an expert to confirm my worst fears! As long as I’m not diagnosed with anything, I can convince myself I’m just being crazy.


Now here is a story about how hypochondria + hating doctors causes me to do ridiculous things sometimes. Whenever I get a cold my ears get all plugged up, and sometimes it takes forever for them to clear up and it’s super annoying. This happened in the fall – it had been months and my ears felt all blocked up and it was driving me crazy. So when I saw a posting online for some holistic health place that offers junk like reiki healing and reflexology and other things that I am not exactly interested in that also did ear candling, I don’t know why, but I made an appointment, and it turned out to be pretty much as weird as you would expect.

The building wasn’t sketchy or anything, but it was more industrial than I would imagine when picturing a holistic healing centre. When I got there, a lady named Tonia was lighting incense. I expected her to say “Namaste” but I think she just said hi instead. She talked to me for like ever about how it worked and I was just thinking Tonia had better hurry it up before I made a run for it. Finally we got started. She touched my face for a while (you know, to align my energy, duh). This was horrifying for me because I DO NOT LIKE TO BE TOUCHED.  She was seriously just touching my face in silence for at least 10 minutes, oh my god it was the worst. And then she put a burning hollow candle thing in my ear for a while, and that was also weird.

She did both sides, and after she showed me the inside of each candle and said it was wax that had been sucked up into it…but I’m pretty sure it was just candle wax? I mean, I don’t know anything about physics, but why would a candle suck anything out of an ear. I suppose I should have thought about that beforehand, but I was desperate, remember? Also I made a point of not reading anything about it in advance because deep down inside I knew it was b.s.

So yes, my ears were still plugged, but at least a stranger touched my face for a while? Also I guess I confirmed that alternative medicine is perhaps not for me. Next time I think I just have to force myself to go to a doctor.

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What to Wear: spring dress

what to wear

I had some pretty lofty blogging ambitions this week, but clearly none of them came to pass. Maybe next week? For now I bring you the spring dress edition of What to Wear.

All of these pictures came out kind of blurry, oops.

All of these pictures came out kind of blurry, oops.

That’s supposed to be my spring is in the air pose, I guess? Anyway, I got this dress recently, and I’m kind of obsessed with it. If only it had short sleeves, it would be completely perfect. I still love it though – it’s comfortable cotton, lined, fun print, knee-length – perfect. It’s available in a bunch of patterns, and I kind of want to own them all. Seriously, look at the pattern up close, SO CUTE!



And here are the earrings I’m wearing that you can’t actually see as usual.


Dress: Too Much Fun Dress from Modcloth
Shoes: Target
Earrings: A gift from my mom

Head over to Nicole’s blog to check out everyone else’s spring dresses!

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The end of tights season

A few days ago it was warm enough to go outside with bare legs. I guess this is mostly a good thing, it’s not like I’m a giant fan of cold weather or anything, but I always miss my tights during the summer. Whatever, that is a legitimate thing to think about!


I’m just going to post pictures of tights I own now.


You know how there is that stereotype about women being really obsessed with shoes? I am not like that. Heels hurt my feet! I can’t wear high boots because of my cursed cankles!

One time the premier of New Brunswick asked me where I bought these!

One time the premier of New Brunswick asked me where I bought these!

Anyway, everyone wears shoes. BORING! Not everyone wears super weird tights that apparently sometimes look like tattoos according to random strangers?



Soon I’m going to have to put all of my beautiful tights away in a drawer for a few months and my only way of Expressing Myself Through Fashion will be through my nails. The good news is, my sister got me an at-home gel nail kit thing for my birthday, so now my nails can look something like this all the time:



So at least all accessory hope is not lost.

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